Fated, but not Destined

I think there is a special kind of heartbreak for the kind of love that was almost meant to be. The one that was just so within grasp. The one where you know, deep down, it could have been.

Don't get me wrong, unrequited love hurts like a bitch too. But there's just something about this kind of "almost meant to be love" that hits you right in the gut. It makes you ache for something that's right there but you can't reach for it. Makes you ponder for hours straight what more you could have done or what else there's left to be done. Maybe if we did this or did that. Maybe if we try it like this or like that. It makes you go over scenarios upon scenarios of how you wished things were, of how if certain elements of the relationship were different, you just know, it would have worked. It makes you toss and turn at 4 in the morning, trying your damnedest not to give in to the intense need to bawl your eyes out, for the umpteenth time.

It's the kind of love that broke not because he didn't love you or he cheated on you. It's the kind of love that broke because life happened. Because situations in life made it unsuitable or impossible to be together. Perhaps the timing wasn't right, maybe you guys are at different stages of life, bottom line is, life forces you to be apart. And it's this special kind of heartbreak that makes it so unbearable because you can't channel anger towards that person. Or say that that person just doesn't see your worth and you are so much better off. No. You can't. Because he does see your worth! And you see his as well. You see him and he sees you but the mere knowledge of that makes it even more gut wrenching doesn't it? You love but you can't be together. He will always be the one that could have been so much more. But in reality, being in love with each other is just not enough.

So you let each other go. You try to be at peace with your decision and try to be happy for the other person. You get on with your life. You try to move on, you go on dates and make out with a bunch of different people. When you are going about with your daily life in the dat, you think, 'hey this isn't so bad, maybe I am over him!'. But god forbid you forget him because when you get in bed at night, all those memories and emotions starts hitting you like a tidal wave and you realize you haven't progress a single step. You hadn't move on the least bit and there's nothing you can do.

You wonder if you will ever feel normal again. You'd read a love novel, watch a chick flick, observe couples on the streets, and you will think of him. You'd wonder what it's like to do those things with him. To have him be the male lead in your love novel and your chick flick. To finally have your arms around each other. And as you ponder over these simple, romantic fantasies, you feel despair all over again, because alas, it's the kind of love that was just almost meant to be.

What do you guys think? Anybody can relate?